Nov 21, 20233 min read

The Four Agreements #3

A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz, 1 segment broken down into 4 weeks.

"ask questions and express what you really want"

Seek Truth.

Always.

This is one of the most challenging for me out of all agreements.

It's so easy to assume. We assume what others are thinking or what others are doing and by making that assumption we typically assume it has something to do with us and therefore we take things personally.

"I always seek truth first."

I say that and truly try to practice it but when emotions are high it's easier to just assume the worst and believe that to be the truth.

Don Miguel states how just by making assumptions you can create and believe a fantasy.

If we can practice seeking truth first we can practice getting clarification to avoid misunderstandings. And again even after seeking truth still practice not taking anything personally.

My oldest boy loves to call me up when i make an assumption. Because he knows this is a practice for us all as soon as I make an assumption he calls me out on it.

It's beautiful to have your children be your mirrors (such a life lesson to be a parent) but the truth is if we can all just lean in with curiosity about a certain topic we can gain clarification and not create a whole ass story in your head about something.

I want to share a personal story about this.

I practiced my sobriety out loud on social media a couple of years back so many knew about my restriction to alcohol at that time.

I received a message from someone one day who asked why didn't I say hi to her at the bar last night, and I was so confused because I was not at a bar. This person was adamant that it was me. because this woman looked JUST LIKE ME. I encouraged her to ask for the woman's name of whom she thought was me and in the end, she realized it was indeed not me and learned the woman's name.

After she let me know of the mistake I expressed my gratitude for her wanting to "call me out" and actually reaching out to me because she could have just sat in the story that i was lying on media about my sobriety. She had a whole ass story in her head about this entire situation and it truly wasn't me.

So all this to say please, seek truth first. Instead of making assumptions, ask questions especially if you have a whole ass story attached to it.

The entire situation made me see this agreement even more clearly which is why i wanted to share it. Some things aren't a big deal but it's still an assumption and some assumptions can create a mess that is completely unreal and just the illusions of the mind.

State your truth clearly, with love. Ask questions and avoid misunderstandings. We can do the best we can for ourselves and those around us but also understand that a misunderstanding is okay just do not take it personally. Everyone sees life through their own lens <3

with so much love,